1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,440 Amy, come on! 2 00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:08,600 CHEERING 3 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:10,160 Oh, my God! 4 00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:11,680 The camera's fallen over. 5 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:15,040 OK, Dad, I'm filming. OK. Here we go. 6 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:21,400 OK, Sam, you on, yeah? OK. 7 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:25,160 Little, um, bed and breakfast for the birthday girl. 8 00:00:25,240 --> 00:00:27,520 It's... No, it's not bed and breakfast, sorry. 9 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:29,680 Little birthday in bed for the breakfast girl. 10 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:32,200 That's not it. Huh? Oh...! 11 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:36,880 Little breakfast in bed for the birthday girl. 12 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:39,440 Scrambled eggs, salmon, OJ, 13 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:41,520 cafe au lait, s'il vous plait. 14 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:43,840 Hashtag best husband ever. 15 00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:46,520 Let's go and make her day. 16 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:51,040 Do you want a hand, Dad? 17 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:53,960 I'm OK. I'm all good. 18 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:58,680 We're in. Ready? 19 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:03,080 20 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:05,800 Argh! Argh! Ohhh! 21 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:08,600 Ah... Ah. 22 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:11,120 Happy birthday. 23 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:14,640 Thanks. What's that? 24 00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:16,080 That's breakfast in bed - 25 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:18,520 there's a little bit of fish there, some egg. 26 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:19,640 Thank you. 27 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:21,800 Happy birthday, Mum. 28 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:23,320 Thanks, Sam. 29 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:26,600 DOORBELL RINGS Oh. It's the tray. It's warped. 30 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:29,040 Oh, God, that can't be your mum already, surely? Probably not. 31 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:32,080 You know your side gate's open? 32 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,400 Unusual greeting. 33 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:36,040 Hi, Mum. I've been gardening. What's this? 34 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:37,160 Hello, Sammy, love. 35 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:39,680 Still doing your little videos, then, are you? 36 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:42,480 Yeah, well, I'm making a documentary about the family 37 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,880 for my media studies coursework. Hi, Granny. 38 00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:48,480 You know, you'll never woo a decent woman behind that thing. 39 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:50,560 A decent woman? Mum, he's 15. 40 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:52,840 He hasn't even been through puberty yet. 41 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:54,760 Yeah, well, I married your dad when I was 15. 42 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:56,960 Yeah, I know, and you mustn't keep telling people that 43 00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:59,400 because I'm pretty sure it was illegal. 44 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:01,280 Hi, Sue. You're up nice and early. 45 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:04,000 Oh, yeah. Well, next-door have bought a puppy. 46 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:05,400 Oh, right. 47 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:08,440 Oh, no, sorry, I don't understand the connection. 48 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:12,720 It yaps its head off from about 5am onwards. 49 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:13,920 I mean, honestly, 50 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,200 they might as well have bought a bloody rooster. 51 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:17,880 Bit cuter, though, surely? 52 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:19,240 Oh, yeah, lovely. 53 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:21,640 When it's not yapping, it's crapping. 54 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:23,240 I've complained to the council, 55 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:25,880 but they said it's not enough to have it impounded. 56 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:28,120 Oh, right. I'll just have to hope it bites me. 57 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:29,840 Oh, well. Fingers crossed. 58 00:02:29,920 --> 00:02:34,480 So, anyway, happy birthday, Rachel, love. Aww! 59 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:36,240 Oh, thank you. Ahh! 60 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:39,600 45, eh? You're halfway there. 61 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:42,000 Ah, bit morbid. What's this? 62 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,600 This is a bunion corrector. 63 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:46,440 Oh. Now, I know it may not be 64 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:48,600 the most exciting present in the world. 65 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:51,600 Yeah, agree with that. But you may need it sooner than you think. 66 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:52,800 OK. Thank you. 67 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:55,120 And, I made you... 68 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:57,880 ..a profiterole tower. 69 00:02:57,960 --> 00:02:59,440 Oh, wow. 70 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:01,800 Oh, God, Mum, a tower?! 71 00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:05,240 I mean, couldn't you have made something smaller? Like a cottage? 72 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:08,120 Amy, Granny's here. Thank you. 73 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:09,760 Well, you don't have to eat it all. 74 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:11,680 Yeah, but I will, though. He will, yeah. 75 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:13,000 You know, please. 76 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:15,640 Can you just bring round something healthy for a change, 77 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,520 like fruit or nuts or something? 78 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:20,480 Oh, I've got a couple of chocolate oranges here in me bag. 79 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,280 How is that fruit, though? Oh, and, Rachel, 80 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:25,480 there's a £5 cheque here from Uncle Barry. 81 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:28,120 Aww. OK, no. I'm sorry, no. 82 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:29,640 What do you mean, "no"? 83 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:31,600 I mean, you've got to tell Uncle Barry 84 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:33,760 to stop sending us cheques for such small amounts, 85 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:35,920 because, frankly, that's not giving us a present - 86 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,480 that's giving us an errand. Oh, don't be daft. 87 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:40,800 There are only about three branches of NatWest 88 00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:42,800 left in the entire world. 89 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:45,520 Paying a cheque in nowadays is not unlike returning 90 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,040 the ring to Mordor, 91 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:49,000 which I doubt Frodo would've done for £5. 92 00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:50,760 Oh, God, just ignore him, Sue. 93 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:53,000 We'll get round to it eventually. I mean, God knows, 94 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:55,240 we need all the money we can get right now. 95 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:57,240 Oh. Still not working, then, Paul? 96 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,480 No, he's not. 97 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,320 How did you even hear that?! 98 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:01,560 Aargh! 99 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:03,560 LOUD BUMP What happened? 100 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:05,440 Maya slipped on some salmon. 101 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:07,880 But I'm OK. It's just the salmon's not. 102 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:09,440 Just put it...in the bath. 103 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:11,840 The bath? It's not going to come back to life, Mum. 104 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:14,560 Sam, can you please go upstairs and clean the landing carpet? 105 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:16,000 What? Why do I have to do it? 106 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:18,080 You know, I have been looking for other work 107 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:22,360 but since the archery club closed, there's just very little out there. 108 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:23,680 Of course there is. 109 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:25,840 There's all the jobs that don't involve archery. 110 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:29,080 Well, I have to do archery, hon. I mean, that's...that's who I am. 111 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:32,120 OK. Well, why not try and be someone 112 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,600 who does a job they hate for money, like the rest of us? 113 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:37,640 Anyway, I've been working in the garden, Mum, you know? 114 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:39,440 Getting my Monty Don on. 115 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:41,400 Or Monty Don't, ideally. 116 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:44,040 He's already killed that camelia I liked. I haven't killed it! 117 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:46,520 Yeah. I doubt I've killed it. I was just, you know, 118 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:48,640 giving it a hard prune to make way for all the fruit 119 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:51,160 and veg I'm growing. Oh. What have you got? 120 00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:53,680 Um, raspberries, gooseberries and rhubarb. 121 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:56,520 Hi, Granny. Oh, hello, Amy, love. Do you like rhubarb? 122 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,920 Oh, I thought you were at university, Maya. 123 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,920 I am, yeah, technically. 124 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,320 But I come down here on weekends 125 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:04,600 because I hate everyone on my sociology course. 126 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,680 Anti-sociology course. Yeah, and she can't bear 127 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:08,880 to be without me the whole year, obviously. 128 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,160 Obviously. 129 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:11,320 Happy birthday, then, Mum. 130 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:13,520 I got you another bottle of Mother's Ruin. 131 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:14,800 Ah, thank you, 132 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:17,000 although I think that ship has sailed, to be honest. 133 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:19,320 Birthday boy. Nobody move. Oh, my God. 134 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:20,640 Aaaargh. Oh, my godfathers! 135 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:23,360 Happy birthday. Ah-ha! All right? 136 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:25,800 Gosh, wow. That frightened me. Robin's here. 137 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:27,080 Where did you two come from? 138 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,840 Well, we would've rung the front doorbell 139 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:30,080 but I saw the side gate was open 140 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:32,080 and thought I'd raid your back passage. 141 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:34,000 Ah. She's your sister. 142 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:36,080 Sorry, that is crass. I'm... 143 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:38,200 Just delete that, actually, Spielberg, if you... 144 00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:40,960 Can you do that? I can, yeah. But I won't. 145 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:44,760 And Cheryl? Well, I didn't know you two were back together again. 146 00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:45,840 Be tactful, Mum. 147 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:49,160 No, it's all right Sue, yeah. No, Cherry and I are back in business. 148 00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:51,640 And this time, I'm not letting her go. 149 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:52,840 Well, what about 150 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,320 the personal trainer you were bonking? 151 00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:57,400 "Bonking"? Mum, please. Don't. Not that word, no. 152 00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,840 Yeah, no. That didn't work out. He's gone back to his family. 153 00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:02,000 Oh... Oh, right. He had a... I didn't know that. 154 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:03,440 Yeah, well, yeah, anyway, 155 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:05,960 that wasn't like a proper relationship. 156 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:08,080 It was more just like physical. 157 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,400 It was just physical, 158 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:11,520 yeah, whereas we're more, aren't we, mental? 159 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:12,960 I must be to be back with you! 160 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,800 Oh, my God! Walked into that one! And that's why I love her, 161 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:18,240 right there, because she's so funny. 162 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:20,600 Yeah, she is. Multi-talented. Also, bit of an announcement. 163 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:22,760 Oh? Is the wedding back on? No. No. 164 00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:25,680 No, no, no, no. Don't worry, no, no, no. We're taking it slow this time. 165 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:26,880 Yeah. 166 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,000 Just, um, we are moving in together, so... 167 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:30,360 Woohoo. Congratulations. 168 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:31,720 Well, if they can take your... 169 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,600 Yeah, depending on, um, could I put my Warhammer, 170 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:36,960 Dungeons and Dragons figures in your loft? Yeah. 171 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:39,160 Because we don't have a lot of space at mine. 172 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:40,560 His cupboard is full of orcs. 173 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:42,880 Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. Don't see why not. 174 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:44,080 Anyway, happy birthday. 175 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:45,680 Thank you! Oh, look at that. 176 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:48,120 Are we out of milk? Yes. Oh, nice bag. 177 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:51,040 Yes, well that is a teeth-whitening kit. 178 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:52,920 Oh, wow. 179 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,400 I didn't realise I needed that. 180 00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:55,640 Yours are creamy-grey, yeah. 181 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:56,840 Yeah. And they're all right, 182 00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:58,880 they're just a bit like a Farrow and Ball colour. 183 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,280 Oh, OK. Thank you. 184 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:02,320 Well, quite a haul of presents there. 185 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:05,160 A few reminders of my imminent decay and death. Thank you. 186 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:06,520 And that, um, planner I got you. 187 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:10,720 Yes, actually, and an excellent personal organiser from Sam, 188 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:13,280 which I will put to use as of now. 189 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:16,640 No forgetting to cash cheques or insuring the car from now on. 190 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:18,120 The car's insured. 191 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:20,920 In fact, now is the start of a very organised new chapter 192 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,920 for me, so buckle up. 193 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,960 Right. And, um, you haven't had my present yet. 194 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:27,400 Oh, here we go. 195 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,000 Oh! Lingerie! 196 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:30,960 No. 197 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:32,560 Stop it. Thank you. 198 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:33,920 Gross! What is it? 199 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:38,600 It is a voucher, or, actually, it's called a Wowcher, 200 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:40,280 yes, yes. Yeah, it's, um, 201 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:43,000 it's for Jungle World which is a theme park 202 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:46,440 just up the M1. It's great. They've got abseiling, mini-golf. 203 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:48,160 Archery. 204 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:49,560 Archery, sure. 205 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:51,720 Um, any seated activities? 206 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:54,480 Um, well, they've got a log flume. 207 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:56,680 Oh, well. I'll just stay on that, then. 208 00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:59,160 This looks actually good. Well, don't sound too surprised. 209 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:01,240 No, I don't. I'm just... Thank you very much. 210 00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:02,800 Hey, it's your birthday. Hey. 211 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:04,840 Oh, sick. They've got zipwires. Ah, sweet. 212 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:06,440 Yeah, it's like Go Ape. 213 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,640 I've always wanted to Go Ape. Perfect, perfect. 214 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:10,600 Um, well, yeah, sorry, Cherry. 215 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:12,560 The Wowcher's only for six people, 216 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:14,880 so I don't think you and Robin can come. 217 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:16,760 Ah. Nice. 218 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:18,760 - Ain't that a kick in the nuts. - I'm so sorry. 219 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:20,280 Well, we can Go Ape, babe. 220 00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:22,600 I will take you ape if you want to Go Ape. 221 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:24,720 You just leave that to this big gorilla. 222 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:27,880 CHERYL CHUCKLES I like that. Yeah? 223 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:29,480 Hey, can't we go today? 224 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:31,920 No, no, you can't because you need to pre-book all 225 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,120 the activities, you see. But there's no rush. 226 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,160 You know, the Wowcher's valid for six months. 227 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:38,120 Do you not think we should just go? Yes. 228 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:40,320 Now - while we're all thinking about it? Definitely. 229 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,200 Nah, your dad's right. We've got bags of time. 230 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:44,560 We'll plan it out, put it in the organiser, do it properly. 231 00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:47,280 Exactly. Sam, can you go and clean the mess you made upstairs, mate? 232 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,240 Me? That was you! Thank you. 233 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,200 Thank you. 234 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,920 Go, go, go, go. 235 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,200 Come on, please. 236 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:56,480 Why is it always this hard to leave the house? Paul! 237 00:08:56,560 --> 00:08:57,800 I can't find the back-door key. 238 00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:00,360 Are you ready, Sam? Yeah. I've been ready for about 20 minutes. 239 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:03,160 Outside, then, get outside. Mum. Have we got any clean towels? 240 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:05,000 Why, are you...? You're not having a shower. 241 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:06,400 No, no. I'm having a bath. 242 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:08,960 No. No. We're leaving right now. It closes in five hours, Paul. 243 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:11,640 Help me find the key! I can't lock the back door. Look in the living 244 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:14,520 room drawer. Sorry, I... No, what are you doing, Robin? Don't come in. 245 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:18,360 What? I don't want to wait in the car on my own. No, we're coming right now. Doesn't look like it. 246 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:20,760 It's not in the drawer! I was going to make a quick toastie. 247 00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:23,280 No way! The kitchen, then, in the bowl. 248 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:25,880 Look. Will you please just take your shoes off and help me look 249 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:28,360 rather than standing in the door barking instructions? 250 00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:30,520 Oh, God. I feel like I'm in the Crystal Maze! 251 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:32,680 And not in a good way. Leave it, then, leave it. 252 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:34,800 What, just leave it? Yeah. Leave the back door open? 253 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:36,440 Yeah, why not? Well, we'll get burgled. 254 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:38,520 Good...good. Have you seen this place? 255 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:40,800 They'll be doing us a bloody favour. Now, please, 256 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:44,040 can we all just leave the house and ENJOY OURSELVES?! 257 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:46,520 Hmm. I mean, how has this happened? 258 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:48,840 I can't believe we've done this. 259 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:50,760 I can. I fully expected this. 260 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,280 Not helpful, Amy. 261 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:55,360 Call the jungle people. Book us in for stuff. 262 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:58,720 All right. Can we just pick my mum up first, please? 263 00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:00,840 Quick, quick, quick. Yeah, all right. 264 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:03,560 Hey, so it's 1.45, so if we get there at 3, 265 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:05,080 we've still got three hours. 266 00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:08,720 We can do most of it if we really zip down those zipwires, OK? Yeah? 267 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:10,200 Yeah, OK, yeah. Yeah. 268 00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:11,800 Why...why has Gran got a dog? 269 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:13,600 She hasn't. 270 00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:14,800 Has she? 271 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,800 Oh, God. Yeah, she has. Yeah. 272 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:19,520 Well, Pinel and Ben have gone to Iceland, 273 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,040 so I said I'd look after the dog for them. 274 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:23,640 Iceland the shop or the country? 275 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:25,040 I didn't actually find out. 276 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:26,640 I'm assuming it's the country 277 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:30,120 because they've gone for the entire weekend and took suitcases. 278 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:32,560 Probably the country, then. It will be the country, yeah. 279 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:34,040 I thought you hated that dog? 280 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:37,360 What? Lord Sugar? No, I love him. 281 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:38,800 I've always loved him. 282 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:42,520 Ugh! He's my little icky Cockapooey pal, aren't you? 283 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:44,440 A cockapoo called Lord Sugar? 284 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:47,520 Is there any animal in the world with less dignity? 285 00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:49,160 Yeah. Dad. 286 00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:52,480 Oh, ha-ha-ha. Very funny, Amy. NOT. 287 00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:55,560 I would've said no, if you'd given me more warning. Well... 288 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:58,320 I mean, I thought we had ages to use this Wowcher thing. 289 00:10:58,400 --> 00:10:59,920 We did, we do. 290 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,560 It was my birthday six months ago, Sue, 291 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:03,160 and today is the last day it's valid. 292 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:05,880 Anyway, Lord Sugar hasn't done his business this morning. 293 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:08,680 Oh, aye. So I can't risk leaving him home alone. 294 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:11,560 Business. What's his business? It's Amstrad. 295 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:14,320 His downstairs business. He must be bursting. 296 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,600 What? He's supposed to widdle on command. 297 00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:17,760 If you go "sss, sss, sss." 298 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:19,320 Whoa, whoa, whoa, no, don't do that! 299 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:21,080 Please, please. I'm on the phone. 300 00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:24,040 Is there a command to make him hold it in? 301 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:27,200 Um, not as far as I know, unless you tie in a knot in it. 302 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:29,400 But he'll never make the whole journey, though. 303 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:30,880 Oh, great. 304 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,480 Look for a park, everyone. Hold it in, Lord Sugar. 305 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:36,640 Hold in. What about rafting? 3pm. Yes, yes, yes. 306 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:39,400 Yes. We can make that, I think. Zip lining? 307 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:43,160 Fully booked. Oh! No! What about the archery? 308 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:45,360 Well, we don't need to do archery. 309 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:48,320 Nothing. I should say, full disclosure, 310 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:49,920 that I am actually 311 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:53,320 a former Olympic Team GB archer, if that makes a difference. 312 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,520 Why would that make a difference? It won't. 313 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:57,320 No... No, I didn't... OK. 314 00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,720 There. Rachel. Park. Over there. 315 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:02,960 ALL TALK AT ONCE Get this dog off me. It's a park! 316 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:04,680 What's the nature trail? 317 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:07,560 I don't know...I don't know if the kids will be interested. 318 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:09,560 OK, quickly, Sue. Quick, quick, quick. 319 00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:11,280 All right, all right, all right. 320 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:13,440 Come on. ..at 4, and then the mini golf at 4.30. 321 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:15,240 What have you got at 5.30? Oh, good boy! 322 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:18,160 Get him out. Come on, and do your wees. Really? Oh. 323 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:19,600 Bear with me a sec. 324 00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:21,920 They close at five. No, no, no, no. It's six. 325 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,480 In the summer, yes, 326 00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:27,960 but from September to April, it's five. Ah. Oh. Ah, OK. 327 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:29,840 OK, book those in. Yes, book 'em, Danno. 328 00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:30,960 It's a jay, look. 329 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:34,000 No, no bird-watching, Sue. We really need to motor. 330 00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:36,560 Now, so, um, come on, Lord Sugar. 331 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:37,960 Do your business. 332 00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:39,760 No! Oh, Rachel! 333 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:44,800 I was told not to do that in case he...did that. 334 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:46,600 Heel... Heel, boy. 335 00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:48,760 Lord Sugar! Come here, boy. 336 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:50,760 Oh... He'll be back. 337 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:54,880 He won't be back. Lord Sugar! He's fast, isn't he? 338 00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:59,080 Oh, blimey hell, where is he? 339 00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:00,640 Sir Alan! 340 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:03,480 No, no, Dad, it's Lord Sugar. Oh, yeah. Lord Sugar! 341 00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:05,640 Not that one. Lord Sugar. 342 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:07,600 Lord! Here, boy. 343 00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:11,040 No. You've got to say his whole name or he won't respond. 344 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:13,560 Well, he's not responding anyway, is he? Lord Sugar! 345 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,440 Stupid dog. Lord Sugar! 346 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:17,120 Don't call Lord Sugar stupid. 347 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,960 Oh. Of course he's stupid. 348 00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:20,160 All these fluffy, doddle 349 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:22,040 cocker-jacker-schnoo-bradols are stupid. 350 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:24,920 They're quite bright, aren't they? Why can't people have a normal dog? 351 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,200 There are no normal dogs, Mum. 352 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:28,360 They've all been bred to be cute or useful, 353 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:29,800 unless you mean wolves. 354 00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:31,160 Yeah, OK, yeah. 355 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:33,240 Why can't people grow up and have a wolf? 356 00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:35,680 Do you want me to answer that? No, I don't. 357 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:37,600 Well, we're going to miss the rafting. 358 00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:39,880 OK. I think we should split up. 359 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:42,080 Really? No, no, 360 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:44,760 as in, I think you look round here and I'll be back. Yes. 361 00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:45,800 OK. I'll be back. 362 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:48,760 Yeah, let's, um... Let's scatter. Fine. Lord Sugar! 363 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:51,800 Has anyone got any treats, like a dog treat, 364 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:55,040 not a human treat, or both? Lord Sugar! Here, boy. 365 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:56,840 Obvious question, 366 00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,480 but why are we getting ladybirds through the post? 367 00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:01,480 Sam, are you doing something weird? 368 00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:03,440 No. Like what? 369 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:06,920 They're mine. I bought them to eat the aphids. 370 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,880 Oh. You've got aphids, have you, Paul? 371 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,040 I've got an absolute plague of them. 372 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:14,720 It's like I've offended the Old Testament God. 373 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:17,120 Amy, could you put those ladybirds in the fridge, please? 374 00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,920 They tend to work harder if they've been refrigerated, apparently. 375 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,200 Ah, maybe we should put you in a fridge as well, then. 376 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:25,520 Ah. Still no job news, then, Paul? 377 00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:27,680 Well, no. But, you know, 378 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,560 I've just been flat out in the garden. 379 00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:31,800 You know, there's just so much to do before harvest. 380 00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:34,120 Harvest. Yes, of course. 381 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,800 It's going to be like harvest festival in here, isn't it? 382 00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:39,000 Maybe we should hire some seasonal labourers 383 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:40,920 from the EU to help bring it all in. 384 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,800 Well, I have asked Robin and Dean to help me bring in the rhubarb. 385 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:46,280 Are you not going to be late for work, Mum? Yes, always. 386 00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:48,640 I just can't find my personal organiser, again. 387 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:50,960 You know, and it is a bit like a job really, 388 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:54,040 you know, when you think about how much money we're going to save 389 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:55,560 eating food from the garden. 390 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:57,800 How much do you think we currently spend on rhubarb? 391 00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:00,200 I mean, if you were growing frozen pizzas 392 00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:02,280 or tins of beans out there, then, yes, maybe. 393 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,760 I AM growing beans. I'm growing beans. 394 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:08,000 I found these amazing beans on eBay, you know? 395 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:10,520 They crop all year round, even in winter. 396 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,360 They're like miracles of nature. 397 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:14,640 So, magic beans? 398 00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:17,640 Cool. Cos no-one's ever been scammed by them before. 399 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:18,840 SAM SNIGGERS 400 00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:22,440 For your information Amy, Jack was correct to buy those magic beans 401 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:24,560 in Jack And The Beanstalk. 402 00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:27,480 You know? That's like the whole point of the story. 403 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,280 Why am I eating cake? 404 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:31,400 Mum! 405 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:33,080 I didn't ask for this, Mum. 406 00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:34,920 Well, it was on special. 407 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,000 You know, buy one, get one free. 408 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:40,480 So, if anyone else wants some, I have actually got two. 409 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:42,000 Oh, for God's sake. Oh. 410 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:44,040 You know you still haven't paid in this £5 cheque. 411 00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:45,880 I'm not going to. Oh, no, really? 412 00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:46,960 Yes, no, we will, Sue. 413 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:49,720 It's on my to-do list, which is in my personal organiser. No, we won't. 414 00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:51,480 Which you've lost. Which I currently can't find. 415 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:52,600 BELL RINGS 416 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:55,520 Oh, and you still need to use your Wowcher thingy. 417 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:58,480 Oh, yeah. Let's go tomorrow, when Maya gets here. 418 00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:01,040 No, I'm releasing the ladybirds tomorrow. 419 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,360 We'll go next weekend. There's so much time. 420 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:04,680 We've got three months. 421 00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:06,560 Hello, hi. What's this? 422 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:08,680 This one is...dwarves. 423 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,040 Hi. Hiya. It's my Warhammer stuff. 424 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:14,240 You said that we could put it up in the loft. Oh, yes, OK. 425 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:16,240 I'm running a bit late for work but, Paul! 426 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:19,920 Paul! Yeah? Can you help Robin bring in his Dungeons and Dragons dolls? 427 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,920 Thank you. Figures, not dolls. 428 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,240 Morning, all. Hi. 429 00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:25,400 Hi, Robin. Hi, Cherry. All right? 430 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:27,160 No. No? Not perfect, no. 431 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,280 Oh, no. What's wrong? 432 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:30,520 Well, um... 433 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,200 ..we went Ape yesterday. 434 00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:34,000 Oh, yeah. How'd it go? 435 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,400 Awful. Mm. 436 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:38,440 He loved it. Dangling about like a dick. 437 00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:40,200 I did not. 438 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:41,960 Cherry froze up, didn't you, babe? 439 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:43,840 I had to talk her down. "Don't jump!" 440 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,320 Well, "Do jump," in this case. Yeah. 441 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,520 No, she doesn't like heights, as it turns out. 442 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:51,600 No, I don't mind them, like in a plane... Yeah. Yeah. 443 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:54,800 ..or in a mall, or whatever, but up in a tree... 444 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:56,880 ..it's rank. 445 00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:59,000 You just need to give it another go, I reckon, babe. 446 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:01,080 Look, stop suggesting we go back Go Ape, Robin. 447 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:02,880 I'm never going Ape again. 448 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:05,840 Why do you think people spent hundreds of years 449 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:07,960 evolving to not be apes any more, huh? 450 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:09,920 Cos it's shit, isn't it? 451 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:13,880 Especially, with somebody proposing AT you all of the time. 452 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:16,000 It's hardly all of the time. Oh, wow. 453 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:17,960 It's nonstop! I tell you, it's nonstop. 454 00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:20,480 Yeah. Honestly! On the zipwire and all, right? 455 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:23,640 Do you know, he's not even saying the full thing any more. No, no. 456 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:25,960 He's just going, "Oh, how about now?" Like that. 457 00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:27,800 On the zipwire, when I'm panic attacking, 458 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,400 this goon's popping the question. 459 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:32,400 Oh, dear. Trying to get me to say yes, when I'm not in my right mind. 460 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:34,720 I wasn't trying... I wasn't deceiving you. 461 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:35,840 It was... 462 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:37,320 I thought it was a magic moment. 463 00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:40,760 Well, it wasn't. I know. I know that now. How could you think that? 464 00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:42,760 How many goblins have you got? A lot. 465 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:44,600 Watch your dwarves. Maya? 466 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:46,280 Can you hear me, Maya? 467 00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:48,200 Yeah, are you on the train? 468 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:50,040 Oh, right. 469 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,440 Beach. Which beach? 470 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:54,600 Oh, OK. 471 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:56,920 Is it... 472 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,160 ..is that with friends from your course or...? 473 00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:01,400 Cool. 474 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:05,080 So, you're not coming back this weekend, then? 475 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:10,280 No, that's...that's fine. That's... 476 00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:12,160 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, totally fine. 477 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,120 Sam! I wasn't! 478 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:16,640 Lord Sugar! 479 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:19,200 HE GROANS Lord Sugar! 480 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:21,160 What are you listening to? Lord Sugar! 481 00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:22,560 What are you listening to? 482 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:25,160 Oh, it's Foundations of Sociology. 483 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:27,960 Oh, cool. Are they new? I don't know them. 484 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,160 No, it's a book. An audio book. Oh. 485 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:34,160 Ah, sociology. Is that what you're studying at uni? 486 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:35,840 No, I'm doing geography. 487 00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:37,040 Meant to be. 488 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:40,480 Maya's doing sociology. 489 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:43,560 It's one of her set texts, so I thought it might... 490 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:45,880 ..help if I read it, too. 491 00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:47,400 Hmm... 492 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:49,280 Can I give you some advice? 493 00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:50,800 I mean, I'm tempted to say no. 494 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,200 Back off a bit. I would. 495 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:57,080 Trust me, as someone who knows, I can be a bit... 496 00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:58,600 ..like that. Like what? 497 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,840 Well, I'm...I'm a bit like a Pep Guardiola side 498 00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:04,400 as a boyfriend, you know? 499 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:06,160 I operate a very high press. 500 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:08,080 Don't give the opponent any space. 501 00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:11,360 Right. I mean, the fact that you refer to the person you're dating 502 00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:13,480 as "the opponent"... 503 00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:15,560 ..may be more of a problem. 504 00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:19,120 Mm. That's a fair point, actually. 505 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,600 Well, either way, I'd suggest listening to something more upbeat. 506 00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:24,120 A bit of funk, maybe. 507 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:25,680 He's there, look! 508 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:27,000 Lord Sugar! Oh, Lord Sugar! 509 00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,000 Lord Sugar. Oh! 510 00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:32,720 Well done. Right, I'll call Rach cos we need to crack on. 511 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:37,960 Oh. He must've found his own way back, the clever boy. Amy, here! 512 00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:41,240 Who's a clever Lord Sugar? Ah. 513 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:44,080 OK, I've got him. Let's go. 514 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:45,760 Oh, my God! 515 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:48,800 He was bloody miles away over by this bandstand. 516 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:49,960 What? 517 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,160 Oh. 518 00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:55,800 What...? Which dog is that? 519 00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:58,640 That's Lord Sugar. 520 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:01,240 But, are you sure? 521 00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:03,920 That's not even a Cockapoo, Rachel. That's a Labradoodle. 522 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,760 Well, I mean, for God's sake. 523 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:07,000 Did you just take a dog? 524 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,520 Not on purpose. Oh, go on, then. Go on. 525 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:10,600 Yah! 526 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:11,720 Yah? 527 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:14,080 It's not a horse in a Western. 528 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:15,440 You've got to take it back! 529 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:17,080 Oh, we haven't got time. 530 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:19,200 He'll find his own way back eventually, probably. 531 00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:21,280 She. She. She, she. 532 00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:22,600 It's a her. 533 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:24,120 And we can't just leave her here. 534 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:26,400 Oh. She might get lost, the poor little bitch. 535 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:28,600 What's happened? Mum's nicked a dog. 536 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:29,960 What? By mistake. 537 00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:32,320 I haven't got time to take it all the way back. 538 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:35,120 The jungle thing closes in 85 minutes. 539 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,360 There's a phone number on her collar. 540 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:38,560 Oh. 541 00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:40,240 Yah! 542 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:41,480 Stop staying yah! 543 00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:45,920 RINGING TONE OK, so, who'd like a snack just to cheer us all up? 544 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:47,280 Oh, please, no more cakes, Mum. 545 00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:49,200 No, I brought fruit, actually. 546 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:51,120 I listened, you see? 547 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:53,160 Well, hang on, I've got fruit. I've got fruit! 548 00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:54,480 Yeah, I'll take a raspbo. 549 00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:56,760 Well, no, I've got...I've got raspberries from the garden! 550 00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,680 Yeah, but these are proper ones, from Asda. 551 00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:01,320 MINE are proper one... Mine are proper ones. I grew mine. 552 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:03,760 Yeah, but these are all big and lovely. They are great. 553 00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:06,160 Well, eat mine. Please eat mine! 554 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:08,720 OK, so no-one's answering and we're about to hit the motorway 555 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:11,320 so it looks like we're taking Lady Sugar with us as well. 556 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:14,160 And it would be nice if you ate some of your father's six raspberries. 557 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:16,840 Eight! Eight raspberries. You're not counting that one, surely? 558 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:18,880 Well, seven and a half raspberries. Eat! Eat! 559 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:21,560 Let's have a look, Paulo, the old rogues' gallery. 560 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:24,080 Here we go. Ooh, they are very powdery, aren't they, mate? 561 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:25,920 That's natural. That's natural powder. 562 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:29,280 Seven raspberries. Is that all you managed to harvest? 563 00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:33,120 It's not me. It's the ladybirds. They did sweet F-all. 564 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:34,560 They just flew away. 565 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:37,360 I do have 14 gooseberries as well. 566 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:39,720 Someone, please eat one. They're on the turn. 567 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:42,400 Oh, God. You're really selling them to us, Dad. PHONE RINGS 568 00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:45,240 Oh, God, I've got this. Everyone shush, yeah? 569 00:21:47,360 --> 00:21:49,760 Hello? I missed your call. 570 00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:53,200 Yes, thank you for calling back. It was just to say, 571 00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:54,960 have you lost your dog? 572 00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:56,560 Yeah. My wife's looking for her now. 573 00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:59,240 Because no...no need. He's with us. 574 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:01,480 She. What? She. 575 00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:04,240 What? The dog. We've taken him. 576 00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:05,800 Her. What? Don't say taken. 577 00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:08,960 As in, we've not kidnaped him, we've... It's... We've... Her. 578 00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:13,080 It's just we accidentally thought it was our dog, so we took it. 579 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:14,480 You've lost your dog? 580 00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:18,400 No, no. We have our dog, too. We have both...dogs. 581 00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:20,240 So why did you take mine? 582 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:22,760 Completely. Great question. 583 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:24,400 It's hard to answer. 584 00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:26,880 We will of course return your dog, 585 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:30,640 but maybe not right now if that's... Is that... Is that OK? 586 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,440 No. I want my dog back now. 587 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:34,720 Yeah, it's just, the thing is mate... 588 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:36,640 Sorry, this is Paul, Rachel's husband. 589 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,160 Rachel's the previous speaker. 590 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:41,680 You're on speakerphone. Hi. Say hello, everyone. 591 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:43,840 Hi. Hello. I'm Robin. 592 00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:47,160 Hi. Yes. Hello. We are on our way to Jungle Land. 593 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:49,760 World. World. Jungle World, is the thing. 594 00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:53,160 Right. Um, yeah, and we're running really late. 595 00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:56,200 We've actually missed some of our pre-booked activities. 596 00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:57,640 I realise that's not your problem. 597 00:22:57,720 --> 00:22:59,560 No, and we're about to hit the motorway. 598 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,000 And we're about to hit the motorway, mate, 599 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,560 so we're very much leaving the area, 600 00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:07,200 so, you know, I was thinking perhaps we could bring him back in say, 601 00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:08,320 a couple of hours. 602 00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:09,360 Her. Her. Her. 603 00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:12,400 Her! Sorry. That would really help us out, mate. 604 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:16,520 Um, it's a birthday present, you see? It was...a while ago but... 605 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:19,000 Please? Mate. Matey? 606 00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:20,240 Matey? 607 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:22,920 Return the dog now or I'll call the police. Yeah. 608 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,960 163, 163. Is that it? 609 00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:26,480 That's it, yeah. 610 00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:27,800 OK, go, Paul, go, go. All right. 611 00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:29,480 Are you sure that's the right one, yeah? 612 00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:33,040 Yes, it's the right one. Bye, Lady Sugar. Nice to meet you. 613 00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:34,640 Oh, my God. 614 00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:40,000 Oh, OK. Yeah. 615 00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:42,840 We don't still have to go, you know. 616 00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:45,520 It was more of a present for me, honestly. 617 00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:49,080 I think I just wanted to do some archery again. 618 00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:54,040 Show you that I'm still actually good at something. 619 00:23:54,120 --> 00:23:55,160 Aww. 620 00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:58,440 There's only mini-golf left. Look, I really won't mind. 621 00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:02,560 Paul. Look, we've had six months to do this. 622 00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:07,000 I cannot accept that we're that useless as a family. 623 00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:09,760 I mean, most of our plans are never going to happen. 624 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:11,840 Fine, I'm aware of that. But not ALL of them. 625 00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:14,520 We can't be THAT bad. We just can't. 626 00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:19,440 And I actually really love mini-golf. 627 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:21,320 And you. 628 00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:23,280 In that order. 629 00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:33,920 Yes. 630 00:24:35,120 --> 00:24:36,360 Your dog. 631 00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:37,480 Cheers. 632 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,680 Thank you. He was quite scary. 633 00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:41,360 OK, they're coming. 634 00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:45,040 Jungle World! OK. Look lively, everyone. OK, everyone, look for mini-golf. 635 00:24:45,120 --> 00:24:47,440 What time are we at? 4:54. Come on people, let's go! 636 00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:49,880 Go, go, go. Go, go, go. 637 00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:51,400 You stay here, Lord Sugar. 638 00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:52,600 OK, let's go. 639 00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:56,000 Yeah, great. Where is it, where is it? I don't know. 640 00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:58,320 Straight through. Mum, they're going to shut the shack. 641 00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:01,840 Oh, just go. I'll only slow you down. Play without me. 642 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:04,520 No, Mum. We're not leaving you. We're going to do this together. 643 00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:06,920 Look, I actually don't want to play. 644 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:10,040 I'm quite happy being the, you know, caddy. 645 00:25:10,120 --> 00:25:11,160 Oh, OK. 646 00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:13,160 Go, go, go, go, go, go! 647 00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:14,520 Wait, wait! Wowcher! Wowcher! 648 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,520 Wowcher! Wowcher! Hang on! Hang on! 649 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:18,240 I don't have it. 650 00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:20,200 Yes! Yes! I've got it. Yes! Yes! Come on! 651 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:21,840 There you are, thank you so much. 652 00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:23,560 You know we do close at five, yeah? 653 00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:25,920 Yes. We do know that. We do know that, thank you. 654 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:27,840 OK, guys, listen, go round as fast as you can, 655 00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:29,280 and do remember to keep score, 656 00:25:29,360 --> 00:25:30,880 so we can work out who the winner is, OK? 657 00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:34,160 Why would that matter? Well, yeah, OK. You're right. 658 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:35,800 Oh, wow. Oh, my God. 659 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:38,360 We're never going to get round the whole course in two minutes. 660 00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:40,160 Well, not with that attitude we're not, no. 661 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,480 Well, let's just pick one hole and do that properly. 662 00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:44,480 As the actor said to the... 663 00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:46,320 Yeah. Let's pick the best hole. 664 00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:48,440 OK. I'll take the lion. Go, go, go! 665 00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:51,920 OK, elephant, elephant. Which is the best hole, mate? 666 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:54,360 Just start at one, I reckon. Look at that, it's amazing. 667 00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:57,240 What's this one? The bridge, want to do the bridge? No. What's up there? 668 00:25:57,320 --> 00:26:00,000 I mean, this has got totem poles. The bear. Guys... I don't think so. 669 00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:01,080 No, this one's shit. 670 00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:02,920 Get on the path, Rachel! Stop going off road. 671 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:05,200 I don't know why I'm running up here! I'm following you! 672 00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:07,880 Waterfall! Waterfall! Come on, Sam! Hurry up. 673 00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:10,480 I'm in the river, Paul! I don't think this is the best one. 674 00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:12,480 We know we've got this one. We can come back. 675 00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:14,400 This one hasn't even got a theme. What is it? 676 00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:16,920 Sorry, excuse me, we have to close up now. 677 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:20,200 Oh. Over here! This one's got a snake. 678 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:23,720 Snake! A snake! Oh, yes, Sue. Nice one. 679 00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:26,560 Quick. Quick! Cheers, mate. Right, Rachel, go, go. 680 00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:27,600 Go, go, go. 681 00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:30,280 Let's just try and do this one, if we can. OK. 682 00:26:30,360 --> 00:26:34,640 Sorry. Sorry, excuse me. I'm just going to take these back. 683 00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:37,760 Oh, no, no. Come on, mate. I've got to take the clubs back. It's closing time. 684 00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:39,520 Stop, stop, stop. Please, please. 685 00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:41,440 It's her birthday...six months ago. 686 00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:42,720 Can we just...? 687 00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:44,800 Go on, Rach. Play. 688 00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:46,360 Sorry, mate. Come on. 689 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,080 Go on, Mum. 690 00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:50,280 Go on, Rach. 691 00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:52,480 Mashed potato! 692 00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:54,760 Come on. Don't hit that. Oh, yes. 693 00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:57,920 Oh, it's going to hit that rock. Ah, you've got... Oh, yes. Come on. 694 00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:01,960 Out she comes, out she comes. Hello, we've got a good speed up. 695 00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:04,560 Oh, it's nicked the... Hmm. 696 00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:06,840 Hang on. Oh, hello. Hello, Rach. 697 00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:08,200 No way. 698 00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:09,760 Um... Oh, my God. 699 00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:12,280 Oh, what! 700 00:27:12,360 --> 00:27:15,200 And that is mini-golf. 701 00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:19,720 THEY ALL CHEER 702 00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:22,840 I don't believe it! 703 00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:28,840 Sorry, Sorry. Hello, sorry. Can you pick that up, please? 704 00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:30,800 Oh, yeah, sorry. Yeah. 705 00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:32,160 Yeah. 706 00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:33,640 Well done, Mum. 707 00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:37,280 That was one of the all-time great birthday presents. 708 00:27:37,360 --> 00:27:39,640 I actually really enjoyed it. Thanks, Mum. 709 00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:42,240 Well, thank your father. It was all him. 710 00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:44,240 We'll do it again next year. Yeah... 711 00:27:45,360 --> 00:27:47,760 Go on, then. Hmm? What funk should I listen to? 712 00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:52,000 Aha, now have you ever heard of the phrase Jamiroquai? 713 00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:54,280 Is that a person or a band? 714 00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:56,600 No, no. It's a way of life. 715 00:27:57,720 --> 00:27:59,320 Oh, Paul. 716 00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,360 I think Lord Sugar's done his business on your seat. 717 00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:04,760 Oh! Oh, for f... 718 00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:08,200 Oh, no. Sam, you're sitting in the front on the way home, OK? 719 00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:10,800 Ha-ha. What? That's a dump, that is. 720 00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:12,880 Too Young To Die by Jamiroquai 721 00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:15,800 722 00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:17,480 723 00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:20,560 724 00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:25,360 da-da-do-do 725 00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:29,680